After finishing my spinach salad and - (cough) a large bowl of home made chicken chilli, for breakfast - my mind is spinning, thinking about what I need to do today, how sore my body is from yesterday’s workout, how hot it was this morning on my walk, the mistakes I have made in life, etc.
I am considering going 100% raw again. This seems daunting to me and I am surprised - still - that it is so.
My mind travels back to a day not too long ago while in a water aerobics class @ 8 months pregnant. There was a woman in the group who’s name escapes me, who was two months post partum. I remember being shocked that she was 2 months post birth, because her belly was still sticking out quite far. I thought to my self, ‘gee, my body sure won’t be looking like that 2 months post birth.’ Ha ha! First off, that was rude. Secondly, coming from me as a woman who started out at 143 pounds 8 weeks pregnant and ended at 215 pounds 9 months pregnant, who was I to judge?
To say the least: I had NO IDEA what I was in for after birth.
Here I am 5 months post partum and weighing in at a sexy 165. There are days when I love my body, feel completely accepted by myself and simply can’t imagine wanting to be any way other than the way I am. Then, there are days like today when I wake up sore from a not-so-intense workout, feel my flappy arms and see the cellulite that runs down my legs from my hips to my kness, and my heart sinks a little bit. I am someone who for the last five years prior to pregnancy - and for most of my life - been really physically active and able to take on a considerable amount of intensity in both my daily life, as well as my workout. I also - although, I didn’t allow myself to appreciate it - had a beautiful physique and pretty stellar eating habits.
Right now, and for the last year or so, I have been quite the opposite. Now, take me the right way, I get ‘exercise’. Aya and I go for our morning walk and I have been taking it quite easy on myself since birth, as I knew and felt it was necessary. My diet has been absolutely bonkers since I found out I was pregnant, and seems to be getting more ‘carefree’ as time passes. Looking back, it seems as if I stepped onto a slippery slope and haven’t stopped sliding. I feel this has been a necessary transition, as I trust my body to lead me in the right direction, which brings us to today.
Suddenly, I am not ok with the way I am eating and I am feeling the need for a more demanding exercise routine. Aya, my daughter, is now 5 months old and enjoys laying on her playmat and playing with her toys, and exploring the world with her newfound talent of rolling over and over and over and over. Yesterday, I found that she can go for a full 40 minute workout session playing while I work out, which is awesome.
What I am confronted with when thinking about eating raw again is a ton of ‘what ifs’ and ‘but I wannas’ and ‘who will I find for a partner, the raw boys I have seen are weaklings’ if I am eating 100% raw. One thing is for sure, I can cross those bridges when I come to them, I am curious to have ‘The Raw Experience’ again, and see if the lifestyle is worth my imagined consequences. Yes, 5 years ago, when I first went raw, it was totally worth it. At the time, I was 24, single, and a bartender, which to me = I had money to spend and no specific plan for what to do with it.
Now, I am a 29 year old single mom with a child and myself to put through college, unforeseen expenses to save up for and a higher standard of living than I had back then. I have to live in a safe neighborhood, which is more costly than my old apartment. Granted, my car is paid off and my finances are moving upward, so things are looking good in that department. How I see to approach this is to make a budget and stick to it. Plan ahead, and eat the same things frequently until I get a good handle on food cost.
The question now is, when do I start? I am a firm believer in ‘there’s no better time than now’, yet, I think: but what if I go out to eat? What if it’s too expensive? What do I do when I go over my budget? Where will I find the time to do all of this and work out and keep up on yoga? Well, the journey is about to unfold, as I am starting: NOW. When I went raw the first time - and the only time - as I went raw overnight and didn’t look back for over 4 years. I told myself I would do whatever it took to stay raw for 2 weeks and if I wasn’t THRILLED about my results, then I would give it up. Needless to say, I WAS thrilled with my results. So thrilled, in fact, I became a raw food chef and now teach raw culinary cuisine.
I have laid out some ground rules for myself and am viewing this as more of a game than a ‘lifestyle’. A lifestyle occupies too much of my mind space and feels ‘daunting’. However, a game sounds like fun. One of the ground rules at first, as I see myself buying a lot of greens, is that I will - for the time being - continue to use store bought salad dressings. I am a chef and could make them, but for now, it is just one less thing that I have to do each week to prepare. In addition, when I go out to eat, it’s a free-for-all. I go out to eat infrequently, however it is necessary for business purposes and entertainment. A little recreational eating can be fun and rewarding, and I’m sure once I have a few days under my belt, I will be wanting to eat as well as possible no matter the situation.
As far as food preparation goes, I plan on making my Spicy Sunflower Seed and Bell Pepper Pate listed in the post prior to this one, and eating it with celery and chipotle tabasco sauce. I virtually LIVED on this pate the first time I went raw, as it takes about 5 minutes to prepare (see the instructional video at: http://www.youtube.com/user/andrearawkstar), and with celery, it is a delicious and healthy snack. I also see myself making a batch of some sort of veggie burger each week and at least one batch of crackers. I will be sure to get those on video, so that you can follow along with me on my journey if you like.
Today is a wonderful day to start my new raw food journey #2, because I am going to my friend Christina and CJ’s to make some delicious asian vegetable wraps. I’ll be sure to video the production and post the recipe we use.
One thing I do understand about raw food preparation, is that the recipes can be time consuming, so I will post original recipes + any alterations I have done to make the recipe more approachable and less of a time strain.
Thank you for tuning in, I look forward to sharing my journey with you.
In Peace, Love and Light,
Andrea
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