I DID NOT WANT TO GIVE UP MY COFFEE THIS MORNING!!!!

I admit it.   I love the smell of coffee. I love the taste of coffee. I love the jacked feeling I get from coffee.  I love that I can stay up for 5 hours after my darling baby goes to bed and get all of the work - or play - done that my giant heart desires.

There is an opinion within me, however, that wants for something more.  There is a part of me that wants to stay right where I am at.  There is something so comforting about having something 'I NEED TO HAVE'.  It is such a relief to have SOMETHING that gives me relief.  For where I'm at in life, to have no 'needs' for something that can alter my mindset - in a way that I have been used to (smoking, drinking, etc) is uncomfortable.  What am I to do when I'm irritated?  There is nothing for me to focus on, no 'geez, if I just had some coffee/a cigarette/a beer/etc, as a sense of impending 'relief'.  There is a sinking feeling inside of knowing that it is all up to me to change my thoughts, I have no crutch to do it for me.

I have happily started drinking coffee again.

This morning, my body didn't want it, but my mind did!  I needed that smell, that refreshment, that burning feeling in the pit of my empty stomach that only coffee can give.  This morning, I didn't take the bait.  I made a smoothie instead.

Now, there are delicious coffee alternatives out there, and I happened to have one in my cabinet.  My body wanted something cool and green - and chocolately (yes, I made that word up and it's a keeper).  I really didn't want to listen!  However, three days ago, I had bought some bananas and almond milk - and I just happened to find a half-full bag of cacao powder in my cabinet!  Of course, I have a variety of different sweeteners and there was about a 1/2 pound of spinach in my fridge.  AMAZING coincidence.  Do you think my body set me up without my mind knowing it?  I concur.  It was one or the other.  Regardless, upon taking my first sip, it felt like a giant hug - and I get the SAME KICK from the cacao that I do from the coffee - without the burning feeling in my belly.

Does this mean I won't be having Bailey's and Coffee with my girls tonight?  Does this mean I'm not making coconut milk white russians when they get here?  NO!  It means that, this morning, I didn't have coffee.  It is wonderful to have the awareness, and right now, I will do nothing with it but be aware. I am not sure what tomorrow morning will bring, and I will allow that decision to come tomorrow.

Here's my smoothie recipe:

1 C unsweetened vanilla almond milk
1 C water
1 ripe banana (look for brown spots on a YELLOW - not green - banana)
2 T cacao powder
2 T sweetener of your choice (if you use stevia, you will want to sweeten to taste)
1 GIANT handful of spinach (no, you won't taste it)
Place all of this in a blender and blend.  ENJOY.

All my love,
Andrea